Last week we said farewell to a friend. Marijke died after fighting cancer for two years.

Her husband Klaas and Ton were best friends at university. They were roommates for several years and stayed in touch afterwards. When someone you know well for such a long time (over 20 years for Ton, 12 years since I came into the picture) you want to reach out at such a difficult time. I offered what I’m good at: creating videos. And gladly Klaas called me, asking me to help putting photos to the music Marijke liked, to show during the funeral.

A tough job. A job done with love. A job I’m proud of.

Marijke was 11 years older than me. We were never really close, but I always respected her so much. From a distance I admired her optimism, especially when diagnosed with cancer. So this was my way to show her and Klaas, that they mean a lot to me.

I synchronised five pieces of music with pictures of Marijke. Two of the songs were played live during the funeral, so I had to gamble that the live performances I found online were at the same speed as they would be played during the ceremony. Klaas selected the photos for each of the five songs. His ideas were leading, I just made it technically possible.

We even managed to receive footage from a local TV station, that interviewed Marijke last June, when Klaas was cycling for the Dutch Cancer Foundation. (interview starts at 1:15) I texted and phoned with complete strangers, something beyond my comfort zone.

Balancing between feeling very sad while watching all the beautiful pictures of her, so energetic and full of life, and keeping a professional attitude towards the end result, all under significant time pressure. Difficult during the process, but it feels so good to have done it afterwards.

Two times we drove to the crematory to test-drive: first to check their installation and the second time to check the clips and the music, one day before the funeral. Perfectionists at work.

I will never forget the tears in Klaas’ eyes when I started playing the first song, with the beautiful pictures of Marijke projected on the screen.

The day of the funeral was intense. I witnessed how Marijke was put in her coffin, carried over the threshold of her house for the last time, put in the car, and was driven to the crematory.

I was very nervous: this was not a dress-rehearsal.

It all went so beautifully. All speakers had such a wonderful story to tell, including Klaas himself. The music was perfect. So much love, right to the very end when Klaas, the family, us and other close friends stood in a circle around Marijke’s coffin to say our final goodbye to her physical presence

The day ended with a dinner with the family and close friends. It felt very special to be part of that circle. The warmth of everyone made me realize how empathic we all are in times of need, even those who normally struggle with emotions.

Afterwards Klaas received many compliments how beautiful the ceremony was. It makes him feel he did a good job in commemorating Marijke as she truly was.

The five songs still play in my head and every time it brings a smile to my face. Although we lost Marijke, we can think of her all the time and see her smile. Tears, for sure, but her death also amplified our love. It made me and Ton realize to spend even more time with people that matter to us than we already do.

Thanks Marijke, for almost 45 years on this planet.

Thanks Klaas, for calling me.